Mar 21

Fuck. Just fuck.

I don’t even know where to start.

I suppose I have to thank @NiceGuyBrianG for exposing me to someone worse than him. I really, really don’t want to thank him, but I have to.

Title of the blog that aforementioned asswipe decided was worse than his rape apology:

The Necessity of Domestic Violence

The title alone should tell you what sort of fuckery to expect. I still wasn’t prepared. Trying not to vomit all over my keyboard. Still in aftershock. Sickhorriblefuckingmisogyny.

Example #1:

Finally, I have no sympathy for most abused women because a great many of them deliberately incite their men into attacking them, if not by being physically abusive themselves, then by creating drama. Extreme cases of this are diagnosed as borderline personality disorder, but a great percentage of the normal female population engages in this behavior as a matter of course. I found this out the hard way.

The emphasis is his but totally what I would have emphasized myself. Funny how someone who’s not a pathological abuser can look at these words and see one thing, but a pathological abuser can see something else entirely. (Lie. Not funny. Not funny at all.) I see someone attempting to shift the blame for his pathological behavior to his victims. I wonder what Ferdinand Bardimu sees. I can’t even wrap my head around the mentality of someone like this.

Example #2 is the one I really want to talk about.

If women have all the same rights and responsibilities as men, if denying privileges to someone because of the shape of their genitals is morally wrong, then that means there’s nothing wrong with bashing a woman’s face in — or, more accurately, it’s no more wrong than bashing a man’s face in. “Teach your son that all violence against women is wrong.” What if she’s coming at me with a kitchen knife? Do I get to defend myself or does the code of chivalry require me to stand there and let her stab me through the heart?

This bit follows the intro story about the “first” time a woman attacked him. I will stop and say that if the events happened as he said, and as of now I have no reason to dispute them, he was at that time the victim of domestic abuse. I wish he would have pressed charges.

Now that being said, he then uses that story to delve into a question that I am asked by many a person when I end up discussing domestic violence in the south. Is there ever a situation where I think it is ok for a man to hit a woman? I take a pretty hard line stance and say “no” but it isn’t simple. My hard line answer will always be “no, no, NO.” It isn’t ok.

The caveat is that sometimes we do “not ok” things because there is no “ok” alternative. Self defense that ends up mimicking offensive behavior is a “not ok” behavior. Basically if you have the opportunity to defend yourself without being offensive you should take it. I would argue that in the majority of situations if the female is the aggressor, the male is commonly able to escape the aggression without becoming offensive himself. In the rare situations that violence is necessary to defend yourself from harm by all means commit violence. This is true for men and women alike. That doesn’t make violence “ok” nor does it mean would should ever teach violence as “ok.”

The idea that “male chivalry” would extend into a person not defending himself from harm is patently ridiculous and no more than argumentum ad absurdum.

That is the only tiny bit in his whole rant that I felt worth commenting on. The rest is pure unfettered misogyny. I will let someone with a stronger digestive constitution parse out his overwhelming shittiness cause right now I have a date with a shower to wash the vile stench of fuckwit from my existence.

Too bad they don’t make a cleanser for erasing memories.




  1. 1

    I found that looking over “nice guy” Brian’s twitter page after you wrote about him last week. At the time I only made it halfway through before closing the window in a rage. I forced myself to read the whole thing now, even started reading the comments but after about 10 comments all agreeing with him and spewing equally vile misogyny I just couldn’t stomach any more. I just can’t comprehend how people can be so horrible.

    1. 1.1

      It is pretty bad when a rape apologist thinks you have crossed the line. I had to keep myself from damaging my computer with the rage I felt. I couldn’t stomach the comments last night so I waited till this morning to read those. I think I need a vacation from all this bullshit.

  2. 2

    This Bardamu asshole is one of the Men’s Rights Activists fringe figures – even some of those horrible misogynists think he’s beyond the pale. Go back to Elevatorgate and you can find some familiar atheist trolls turning up on his site. Oh, and it was recently listed by the Southern Poverty Law Centre as one of the MRA hate sites. If you are easily triggered by this shit I highly recommend avoiding these wankers.

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